Chair-chan, I'm yours
by AskIKEAlover
Summary: Berwald was at IKEA with his friend Mathias when suddenly he sees Börje, almost blinking him in the lights. And so, Berwald falls in love. When they come home, Berwald can't help himself. He needs Börje and he needs him now. That Börje is a chair doesn't seem to bother Berwald. Quite the opposite, actully. ((A NSFW in the pairing Chair-chanxSweden. Best pairing ever.))


My entire life had come down to this moment. Help.

I can't even believe that I wrote this. Wow.  
But here you go. If you ever wanted to read about a man being sexually attracted to a chair, this is your lucky day.

It's not spelled-checked because honestly I can't stand to reread it, haha.  
WARNING: VERY NSFW, KEEP INNOCENT BABES AWAY AND READ AT YOUR OWN RISK.  
Thanks!

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If you would have asked Berwald Oxenstjärna, the kingdom of Sweden, about his first love, he would probably push his glasses up and tell you in a professional matter that love was something that he didn't have time or a need to have. The lie would flow from his lips as fluently as if it was to be true. But it wasn't, not at all. The truth was that Berwald had felt the butterfly feeling in his stomach that people called love, the need in his brain that people called lust, but that was something that he to this day denied. Because to live in a lie is much more bearable than to admit to a thing that had no chance to be. So therefor he would lie and tell you that he didn't have someone he loved, while his heart would whisper the name that he thought –and hoped- that he had put in the back of his mind to forever forget. Börje..

The first time that they saw each other, Berwald had to stop in his steps, making Denmark almost step into him with a curse. "What are you staring at, bro?" Mathias had before following his gaze and raised an eyebrow. "Börje?" he had read of the nametag and Berwald had almost hit him for tainting the name of such a beautiful being with such an accent. But he hadn't. Instead, he only stared at Börje, following every curve of his until he had to look away and press down the blush that had appeared on his cheeks. Berwald wanted to go up to him, but Mathias gave him that smirk before he was able to. "What?" the Swede said as he gave Mathias his usual I-know-that-you-are-up-to-something-stop-it glare that made the other laugh in a teasing matter. "Do you want to take him home with you?" Mathias said, his voice once again in the same tone before it had turned into a serious one and he added "seriously, it's your birthday soon and I have no gift for you, do you want Börje?" he had said before looking around "Maybe you want Ivar instead" he said and pointed to Ivar who stood a bit away, but in Berwalds eyes, his beauty was drowned in the glory that was Börje. "I want him. I need him." He said and went up to him, caressing Börje's side and he could feel his whole body react to that simple touch. He felt butterflies fly inside of him, feeling his thoughts dissolve as all he had on his mind was Börje. But the perfect moment was soon ruined by that cocky laugh and a "I will buy it for you then, bro. Don't get a boner inside the store, geez! It's only a chair!" but for Berwald, it was much more. Börje's white wooden frame was so perfectly designed, so masculine curved and the white soft middle, god, so amazing. He tried to tell himself that it was only a chair, but his whole body felt like he was on clouds in a way that he had never felt before. And he knew that Börje would be the best present he would have ever gotten in his life.

The birthday party had been good, but honestly Berwald didn't remember much of it, despite it being some couple of hours ago. He had been waiting for the others to leave and now finally, he was alone. Alone in the dim light of his apartment. Alone with Börje. It was with shaky hands that he opened the lid of the box and sure enough, there it was. The pure white wood, as if it was made of pearl and god, it was so hot. He took out all four legs and then all the pieces to the back part and then the seat and laid it all in front of him. Normally, he would have read the instructions, but this time, he just knew in his heart what to do. First, he took the seat and turned it around, carefully screwing the legs to it. And god, he was hot. All he could see was the white wood and beige seating and oh god, how hot his body was feeling. He pulled his shirt over his head and put it on the table as he continued working, now half naked, his sweat making his back sparkle. He assembled the back piece, slowly and steady putting the screws into the holes and using the small tool to put it all in place and soon, almost too soon, Börje was in front of him. And his pants was much tighter. The lines down Börje's back was so sexy and he just didn't know what to do. As he stood there on his knees in front of Börje, he looked up and he could almost hear the voice of the chair say in a seducing voice "Undress." And Berwald did so, in fact, he was almost relieved that he finally got to. Soon, he sat there in his boxers. "Please, Chair-chan" he begged.

He didn't know what he wanted, but he wanted it now. He felt like bursting. With shaking hands, he reached out until he grabbed the thick white wood and stroked it up and down, feeling the smooth wood under his fingers. He wanted to taste it so badly, so he struck his tongue out and felt the paint to his tongue. It tasted so good, perfect even. Much better than any man he had ever made out with. He let his tongue graze the wood several times more, just feeling the sensation, loving it, craving more of it. He knew that he shouldn't, but he wanted it so badly, he was burning. So he went to his special drawer and took out the toy he had bought but never used. The dildo still smelled of new silicone. He licked it, satisfied with the feeling against his tongue, but it was nothing like the feeling of wood against his tongue, but it had to work. He removed his boxers and sat down on the chair, traveling with his fingers down his body. It didn't take long for his fingers to reach their goal, he had done this many time before. With some lube, he pressed in a finger, feeling the muscle stretch around it. With his other hand, he stroked the side of the chair, the soft wood feeling so amazing under his touch. He found himself pressing in another finger, deeper inside of him, wanting more. But it wasn't enough. He carefully poured some lube on the dildo, made sure to coat it completely before putting one of his legs up in the air and the other on the ground, leaning back into the chair and biting his lip. Then he inserted the toy into himself. The sensation was incredible, he hadn't been filled like this in a long while and god, it felt so good, it was pressing all the right places. He gasped right out and threw his head back, slowly taking it out before pressing it back in again. He used the suction cup and pressed it unto the cushion and then turned around to that his stomach was towards the back of the chair and then he sat down and pressed the toy into himself.

The sentation was more than he could bare, and with eyes closed, he could almost imagine that it was Börje doing this, that it was the white polished wood that was pressed into him, making him moan and beg for more like a bitch in heat. "M-more!" He managed to get out and moved faster, pressing toy deeper and deeper and god, it felt so good! He grasped the chair hard with one hand and let the other go down to his leaking cock. "Yeah, you like that" He whispered, stroking the chair's soft surface with one hand and his cock with the other. "I'm your bitch, take me! Aah!~" He was moving faster and faster, and with every movement, the dildo was pressing into his sweet points and he was drooling of pleasure. The familiar knot in his lower stomach was starting to form. "Fuck me harder, Börje, I'm your slut! Please just fuck me harder!" He was begging now, sweat starting to form on his forehead that he rested on top of the chair. He was stroking his cock faster and faster, eyes closed in a bliss that he had never felt this strong before. "B-Börje, I-I'm gonna cum! Gonnacumgonnacumgonna- Aaah!" The knot in his stomach suddenly burst and the world went white at the edges, cum covering the back of the chair and floor. It took Berwald a long while to stop panting enough to stand up and get some tissues to clean up Börje. "That was amazing, Börje." He said with a smile as he put the lube and dildo back into the closet drawer and then laid down on the bed, under the blanket. But he couldn't stop looking at Börje, the way that he seemed to glow in the last rays of sunshine, almost like an angel. With his beautiful features in mind, Berwald fell asleep. And he hadn't slept that good in a long time.

Mathias who had stood in the door-opening and seen it all needed years of therapy, but Berwald and Börje were happy.


End file.
